A Domestic Violence Divorce - How Abusers Use the System to Invalidate Domestic Violence Survivors

Victims of domestic abuse reach out to the system for help in stopping the abuse perpetrated upon them. This can involve both healthcare and law enforcement. Yet, what actually happens, more often than most people know, is that these so-called "helpers" can be used to perpetuate domestic violence "legally" during divorce.

In healthcare, it's the psychologists and psychiatrists. These healthcare providers are frequently manipulated by abusers to aid them in establishing false claims about the domestic abuse survivors that they batter and control.

Psychiatric Diagnosis as Batterer's Club in Domestic Violence Divorce

Almost daily, I am sought out by a domestic violence survivor seeking help from being falsely accused of being mentally ill. In many of the cases, the mental healthcare diagnostics appear to be grossly improper.

But that doesn't prevent a court from making determinations about the accused. In many of these cases, the battered mothers (and abused fathers) are faced with losing custody of and, in some cases, even the essential moments of simple human contact with their children.

Once judicial decisions are made, remedies can be added on and on...with no regard for the accuracy of the original foundation underlying the initial judicial decision. We have seen domestic violence victims prevented from having unsupervised or any access to their abused children because of a clinical psychiatric diagnosis.

The sad thing here is that those directly negatively impacted, like the protective parent and children, are unaware of this ploy during its set-up and ultimate execution. Often they go along with certain procedures trusting in their sanity and hoping for justice to prevail. Then, the day comes when they awaken to the fact that they have been re-victimized by their abuser's manipulation of the psychologists and psychiatrists.

Psychiatric Re-victimization To What End

Now you'd think that if the batterer is getting a divorce and seeking to move on with their lives, then the victim's declared mental health status would be of no interest to him/her. Wrong...completely wrong!

By establishing for "the record" that the domestic violence survivor is "crazy," the abuser leverages their ability to regain and maintain control over the family...and most importantly, control over themselves, or at least control over their public image. Many people will tell you that the legal psychiatrics of a case are nothing more than to save face for the batterer.

The abuser seeks to walk away looking good and certainly not being an abuser. To this end, they must make the victim to be "bad"..."wrong"..."crazy." Essentially, the abuser enlists (directly or indirectly) the healthcare provider to discredit the victim in order to invalidate who she/he is and what she/he stands for with respect to being a domestic abuse survivor.

If you are a domestic violence survivor and have been threatened with losing custody of your children and the credibility of you mental health status, seek to understand how batterers manipulate healthcare providers to establish false claims. And as you learn about the reality of what's before you, find a credible professional to help you prevent this life-changing destructive legal psychiatric ploy. The sooner you become proactive in preventing the establishment of false claims, the easier you can prevent them from defining your life and limiting your liberties.

For information about legal psychological abuse and Domestic Violence Divorce, read Crazy Making Legal-Psychiatric Abuse: Signs and Prevention, and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/crazy_making.php. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

When Trauma and Recovery was first published in 1992, it was hailed as a groundbreaking work. In the intervening years, Hermana€?s volume has changed the way we think about and treat traumatic events and trauma victims. In a new afterword, Herman chronicles the incredible response the book has elicited and explains how the issues surrounding the topic have shifted within the clinical community and the culture at large.Trauma and Recovery brings a new level of understanding to a set of problems usually considered individually. Herman draws on her own cutting-edge research in domestic violence as well as on the vast literature of combat veterans and victims of political terror, to show the parallels between private terrors such as rape and public traumas such as terrorism. The book puts individual experience in a broader political frame, arguing that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Meticulously documented and frequently using the victimsa€? own words as well as those from classic literary works and prison diaries, Trauma and Recovery is a powerful work that will continue to profoundly impact our thinking.

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Domestic Violence Treatment - Domestic Abuse Intervention in the Context of Relationship Therapy

There are people who have been on our email list since its inception nearly five years ago. Many of these faithful readers are deeply rooted in the battered women's movement. Some have asked, "Why are you trying to help people 'fix' relationships that many people urge you to flee?"

I say, "excellent question." The answer has more to do with my getting back to who and what I am. It has more to do with the fact that we have re-focused our business to being the vehicle for making our most seasoned and sophisticated skills available to individuals in abusive relationships.

We are by profession, practice and expertise healers first. Our belief is that people, at the core of their being, have the capacity for change. Every person in an abusive relationship, whether they are the abuser or abused, can influence the dynamics of the relationship. Now this doesn't mean to imply that domestic abuse survivors are responsible for the battering or even have the ability to end the abuse perpetuated upon them.

What it does mean is that many batterers (at least the ones we see) have an innate potential for refocusing and thus reinventing themselves, their relationships and their lives. And domestic abuse victims, too, have this same ability, which recreates their destiny with respect to their intimate relationship and beyond.

Letting Go of Domestic Abuse before It Spirals Out of Control

So it's not that we are saying, "Hang onto your abuser." Heck, no! We want to help people break the cycle of domestic violence from the inside out...one relationship at a time. We know that without doing this, the habits of domestic violence will merely show up in the next relationship by both parties playing out the familiar relationship patterns that caused destructive conflict and violence in the first place.

Our higher interest in domestic violence work is prevention. When we can help people interrupt the abuse dynamic, we prevent the inevitable evolution of domestic abuse spreading throughout our communities...throughout society, at large.

Domestic Violence Treatment and Relationship Therapy

We understand that some intimate relationships are simply not meant to be. And we trust that people will determine what's right for them as they transform themselves and their interaction habits. They can choose to stay together or not. They can work individually or jointly in domestic violence treatment, as well.

We seek to support people in creating relationships that work for them...support them...make them better than they are, not less than they are. Our commitment is to wholeness and harmony, and that is the basis of our work in domestic violence counseling.

As of late we have been calling this work, when done conjointly, "abusive relationship therapy." At the root of the intervention is therapy and the abusive relationship becomes the patient.

Be it known that this is not marital therapy or couples counseling: rather, it is domestic abuse treatment in the context of relationship therapy. I trust this clarifies our intent and commitment to helping people in abusive relationships through effective therapeutic process.

For more info about domestic violence treatment, visit http://www.DomesticAbuseTreatment.com and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from emotional psychological abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

Burning Bed [VHS]

This controversial, 1984 made-for-television movie gave Farrah Fawcett her first true showcase as an actress. Playing an abused wife who kills her monstrous husband (Paul Le Mat), Fawcett demonstrates a facility with the moral ambiguities of the story, which concerns the painful but fascinating questions of where justice lies. Fine support from Richard Masur and Grace Zabriskie, and the assured direction is by Robert Greenwald (Xanadu. --Tom Keogh

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