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2011年7月2日 星期六
Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
Domestic Violence Treatment - Domestic Abuse Intervention in the Context of Relationship Therapy
There are people who have been on our email list since its inception nearly five years ago. Many of these faithful readers are deeply rooted in the battered women's movement. Some have asked, "Why are you trying to help people 'fix' relationships that many people urge you to flee?"
I say, "excellent question." The answer has more to do with my getting back to who and what I am. It has more to do with the fact that we have re-focused our business to being the vehicle for making our most seasoned and sophisticated skills available to individuals in abusive relationships.
We are by profession, practice and expertise healers first. Our belief is that people, at the core of their being, have the capacity for change. Every person in an abusive relationship, whether they are the abuser or abused, can influence the dynamics of the relationship. Now this doesn't mean to imply that domestic abuse survivors are responsible for the battering or even have the ability to end the abuse perpetuated upon them.
What it does mean is that many batterers (at least the ones we see) have an innate potential for refocusing and thus reinventing themselves, their relationships and their lives. And domestic abuse victims, too, have this same ability, which recreates their destiny with respect to their intimate relationship and beyond.
Letting Go of Domestic Abuse before It Spirals Out of Control
So it's not that we are saying, "Hang onto your abuser." Heck, no! We want to help people break the cycle of domestic violence from the inside out...one relationship at a time. We know that without doing this, the habits of domestic violence will merely show up in the next relationship by both parties playing out the familiar relationship patterns that caused destructive conflict and violence in the first place.
Our higher interest in domestic violence work is prevention. When we can help people interrupt the abuse dynamic, we prevent the inevitable evolution of domestic abuse spreading throughout our communities...throughout society, at large.
Domestic Violence Treatment and Relationship Therapy
We understand that some intimate relationships are simply not meant to be. And we trust that people will determine what's right for them as they transform themselves and their interaction habits. They can choose to stay together or not. They can work individually or jointly in domestic violence treatment, as well.
We seek to support people in creating relationships that work for them...support them...make them better than they are, not less than they are. Our commitment is to wholeness and harmony, and that is the basis of our work in domestic violence counseling.
As of late we have been calling this work, when done conjointly, "abusive relationship therapy." At the root of the intervention is therapy and the abusive relationship becomes the patient.
Be it known that this is not marital therapy or couples counseling: rather, it is domestic abuse treatment in the context of relationship therapy. I trust this clarifies our intent and commitment to helping people in abusive relationships through effective therapeutic process.
For more info about domestic violence treatment, visit http://www.DomesticAbuseTreatment.com and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from emotional psychological abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
2011年6月30日 星期四
Domestic Violence Counseling - Physical Vs Psychological Abuse: Who Is the "Real" Victim Here?
Sometimes things are not as they seem when it comes to domestic violence counseling. On the outside looking in, one might think the striking person is the "real" abuser in the relationship. But with closer analysis, it becomes evident that the person holding the control is the psychological abuser.
This psychological abuser may be polite, stable, manipulative and nonaggressive outwardly...and they can even present in therapy as the abused. He/she may be a victim of verbal assault by their partner. But they hold the "control" and they know it. Their intimate partner, however, may not know it.
Instead, this partner who is outwardly aggressive is led to believe that they are the "attacker" and thus the abuser in the relationship. While he/she may be the attacker outwardly, their striking is not about control--to the contrary it's about a lack of control or a loss of control.
Outward Aggression and Abusive Control
What is the difference between outward aggression and abusive control? If you are familiar with the domestic violence literature, you know that domestic abuse is fundamentally about control. And in abusive relationships, violence is recognized as a manifestation of control. It's a means by which control is established and maintained.
Therefore, the assumption might be that the attacker is the "abuser," i.e. the one who holds greater power and control in the relationship. The problem with this simplistic interpretation is that it fails to take into account the etiology of the aggressor's violence.
Some "abusers" (outward aggressors) strike to regain control...but, by and large, they are not the controlling party in the relationship. These individuals characteristically have an intermittent explosive disorder. And their actions, while on the surface are violent, inappropriate and outwardly abusive, they are reflexive in nature.
In other words, these outward aggressors are mindlessly seeking to level the playing field in their intimate relationships. Yet, at their core, they remain under the psychological control of their partners. Their use of violence has more to do with inadequate conflict resolution skills, rather than a pathological addiction to control.
Mental and Psychological Abuse Trumps Violent Aggression
So, which person is the real abuser when one party is verbally aggressive and the other is psychologically controlling? I'd say both individuals are abusers and both are victims in their abusive relationship.
This closer analysis is essential to treatment planning for successful outcome in domestic violence counseling. If you are the labeled abuser in an abusive relationship, be mindful of the more complex dynamics in play. If you are the labeled abused, be honest with yourself in your efforts to remedy the violence in your relationship.
If you are a treatment provider, study the abuse dynamics from the inside out, not from the outside in. Your mindful analysis as such will increase your success in treatment planning for the couples you help in domestic abuse counseling.
For more information about domestic violence counseling, visit http://www.domesticabusetreatment.com and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention
2011年6月21日 星期二
'Child Abuse' Wall Decal - Removable Graphic
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