2011年7月3日 星期日

A Domestic Violence Divorce - How Abusers Use the System to Invalidate Domestic Violence Survivors


Victims of domestic abuse reach out to the system for help in stopping the abuse perpetrated upon them. This can involve both healthcare and law enforcement. Yet, what actually happens, more often than most people know, is that these so-called "helpers" can be used to perpetuate domestic violence "legally" during divorce.

In healthcare, it's the psychologists and psychiatrists. These healthcare providers are frequently manipulated by abusers to aid them in establishing false claims about the domestic abuse survivors that they batter and control.

Psychiatric Diagnosis as Batterer's Club in Domestic Violence Divorce

Almost daily, I am sought out by a domestic violence survivor seeking help from being falsely accused of being mentally ill. In many of the cases, the mental healthcare diagnostics appear to be grossly improper.

But that doesn't prevent a court from making determinations about the accused. In many of these cases, the battered mothers (and abused fathers) are faced with losing custody of and, in some cases, even the essential moments of simple human contact with their children.

Once judicial decisions are made, remedies can be added on and on...with no regard for the accuracy of the original foundation underlying the initial judicial decision. We have seen domestic violence victims prevented from having unsupervised or any access to their abused children because of a clinical psychiatric diagnosis.

The sad thing here is that those directly negatively impacted, like the protective parent and children, are unaware of this ploy during its set-up and ultimate execution. Often they go along with certain procedures trusting in their sanity and hoping for justice to prevail. Then, the day comes when they awaken to the fact that they have been re-victimized by their abuser's manipulation of the psychologists and psychiatrists.

Psychiatric Re-victimization To What End

Now you'd think that if the batterer is getting a divorce and seeking to move on with their lives, then the victim's declared mental health status would be of no interest to him/her. Wrong...completely wrong!

By establishing for "the record" that the domestic violence survivor is "crazy," the abuser leverages their ability to regain and maintain control over the family...and most importantly, control over themselves, or at least control over their public image. Many people will tell you that the legal psychiatrics of a case are nothing more than to save face for the batterer.

The abuser seeks to walk away looking good and certainly not being an abuser. To this end, they must make the victim to be "bad"..."wrong"..."crazy." Essentially, the abuser enlists (directly or indirectly) the healthcare provider to discredit the victim in order to invalidate who she/he is and what she/he stands for with respect to being a domestic abuse survivor.

If you are a domestic violence survivor and have been threatened with losing custody of your children and the credibility of you mental health status, seek to understand how batterers manipulate healthcare providers to establish false claims. And as you learn about the reality of what's before you, find a credible professional to help you prevent this life-changing destructive legal psychiatric ploy. The sooner you become proactive in preventing the establishment of false claims, the easier you can prevent them from defining your life and limiting your liberties.








For information about legal psychological abuse and Domestic Violence Divorce, read Crazy Making Legal-Psychiatric Abuse: Signs and Prevention, and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/crazy_making.php. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D.


2011年7月2日 星期六

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
When Trauma and Recovery was first published in 1992, it was hailed as a groundbreaking work. In the intervening years, Hermana€?s volume has changed the way we think about and treat traumatic events and trauma victims. In a new afterword, Herman chronicles the incredible response the book has elicited and explains how the issues surrounding the topic have shifted within the clinical community and the culture at large.Trauma and Recovery brings a new level of understanding to a set of problems usually considered individually. Herman draws on her own cutting-edge research in domestic violence as well as on the vast literature of combat veterans and victims of political terror, to show the parallels between private terrors such as rape and public traumas such as terrorism. The book puts individual experience in a broader political frame, arguing that psychological trauma can be understood only in a social context. Meticulously documented and frequently using the victimsa€? own words as well as those from classic literary works and prison diaries, Trauma and Recovery is a powerful work that will continue to profoundly impact our thinking.

Price: $17.50


Click here to buy from Amazon

Domestic Violence Treatment - Domestic Abuse Intervention in the Context of Relationship Therapy


There are people who have been on our email list since its inception nearly five years ago. Many of these faithful readers are deeply rooted in the battered women's movement. Some have asked, "Why are you trying to help people 'fix' relationships that many people urge you to flee?"

I say, "excellent question." The answer has more to do with my getting back to who and what I am. It has more to do with the fact that we have re-focused our business to being the vehicle for making our most seasoned and sophisticated skills available to individuals in abusive relationships.

We are by profession, practice and expertise healers first. Our belief is that people, at the core of their being, have the capacity for change. Every person in an abusive relationship, whether they are the abuser or abused, can influence the dynamics of the relationship. Now this doesn't mean to imply that domestic abuse survivors are responsible for the battering or even have the ability to end the abuse perpetuated upon them.

What it does mean is that many batterers (at least the ones we see) have an innate potential for refocusing and thus reinventing themselves, their relationships and their lives. And domestic abuse victims, too, have this same ability, which recreates their destiny with respect to their intimate relationship and beyond.

Letting Go of Domestic Abuse before It Spirals Out of Control

So it's not that we are saying, "Hang onto your abuser." Heck, no! We want to help people break the cycle of domestic violence from the inside out...one relationship at a time. We know that without doing this, the habits of domestic violence will merely show up in the next relationship by both parties playing out the familiar relationship patterns that caused destructive conflict and violence in the first place.

Our higher interest in domestic violence work is prevention. When we can help people interrupt the abuse dynamic, we prevent the inevitable evolution of domestic abuse spreading throughout our communities...throughout society, at large.

Domestic Violence Treatment and Relationship Therapy

We understand that some intimate relationships are simply not meant to be. And we trust that people will determine what's right for them as they transform themselves and their interaction habits. They can choose to stay together or not. They can work individually or jointly in domestic violence treatment, as well.

We seek to support people in creating relationships that work for them...support them...make them better than they are, not less than they are. Our commitment is to wholeness and harmony, and that is the basis of our work in domestic violence counseling.

As of late we have been calling this work, when done conjointly, "abusive relationship therapy." At the root of the intervention is therapy and the abusive relationship becomes the patient.

Be it known that this is not marital therapy or couples counseling: rather, it is domestic abuse treatment in the context of relationship therapy. I trust this clarifies our intent and commitment to helping people in abusive relationships through effective therapeutic process.








For more info about domestic violence treatment, visit http://www.DomesticAbuseTreatment.com and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from emotional psychological abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention


2011年7月1日 星期五

Burning Bed [VHS]

Burning Bed [VHS]This controversial, 1984 made-for-television movie gave Farrah Fawcett her first true showcase as an actress. Playing an abused wife who kills her monstrous husband (Paul Le Mat), Fawcett demonstrates a facility with the moral ambiguities of the story, which concerns the painful but fascinating questions of where justice lies. Fine support from Richard Masur and Grace Zabriskie, and the assured direction is by Robert Greenwald (Xanadu. --Tom Keogh

Price: $14.98


Click here to buy from Amazon

2011年6月30日 星期四

Domestic Violence Counseling - Physical Vs Psychological Abuse: Who Is the "Real" Victim Here?


Sometimes things are not as they seem when it comes to domestic violence counseling. On the outside looking in, one might think the striking person is the "real" abuser in the relationship. But with closer analysis, it becomes evident that the person holding the control is the psychological abuser.

This psychological abuser may be polite, stable, manipulative and nonaggressive outwardly...and they can even present in therapy as the abused. He/she may be a victim of verbal assault by their partner. But they hold the "control" and they know it. Their intimate partner, however, may not know it.

Instead, this partner who is outwardly aggressive is led to believe that they are the "attacker" and thus the abuser in the relationship. While he/she may be the attacker outwardly, their striking is not about control--to the contrary it's about a lack of control or a loss of control.

Outward Aggression and Abusive Control

What is the difference between outward aggression and abusive control? If you are familiar with the domestic violence literature, you know that domestic abuse is fundamentally about control. And in abusive relationships, violence is recognized as a manifestation of control. It's a means by which control is established and maintained.

Therefore, the assumption might be that the attacker is the "abuser," i.e. the one who holds greater power and control in the relationship. The problem with this simplistic interpretation is that it fails to take into account the etiology of the aggressor's violence.

Some "abusers" (outward aggressors) strike to regain control...but, by and large, they are not the controlling party in the relationship. These individuals characteristically have an intermittent explosive disorder. And their actions, while on the surface are violent, inappropriate and outwardly abusive, they are reflexive in nature.

In other words, these outward aggressors are mindlessly seeking to level the playing field in their intimate relationships. Yet, at their core, they remain under the psychological control of their partners. Their use of violence has more to do with inadequate conflict resolution skills, rather than a pathological addiction to control.

Mental and Psychological Abuse Trumps Violent Aggression

So, which person is the real abuser when one party is verbally aggressive and the other is psychologically controlling? I'd say both individuals are abusers and both are victims in their abusive relationship.

This closer analysis is essential to treatment planning for successful outcome in domestic violence counseling. If you are the labeled abuser in an abusive relationship, be mindful of the more complex dynamics in play. If you are the labeled abused, be honest with yourself in your efforts to remedy the violence in your relationship.

If you are a treatment provider, study the abuse dynamics from the inside out, not from the outside in. Your mindful analysis as such will increase your success in treatment planning for the couples you help in domestic abuse counseling.








For more information about domestic violence counseling, visit http://www.domesticabusetreatment.com and claim Free Instant Access to Survivor Success eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps couples nationwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2010 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention


Help Your Domestic Violence Attorney Build a Solid Case


When you hire a domestic violence attorney, don't expect him to build your defense all alone. There are steps you can take to help the process go more smoothly. Keep in mind that a conviction of domestic violence can render serious consequences, including prison time. And by legal definition, domestic violence isn't always just limited to physical abuse. It can also be defined as psychological and emotional abuse. So what you say and how you say it when around your accuser can make a difference moving forward, regardless of what has happened in the past.

Be Totally Honest

It's important that you be totally honest with your domestic violence lawyer. If you did the crime, you should tell your attorney what you did and how and why you did it. He can only move forward and build a strong case if he has all the facts up front. Make every effort to reveal all known facts in the beginning, and be sure to tell your lawyer if the act was in self-defense. For instance, if the accuser tried to hit you with an object and you hit back in self-defense, this could change the outcome of your case dramatically.

Disclose Drug or Alcohol Us

If you have a substance abuse problem, which may have led to your abusive behavior, don't hesitate to disclose this to your attorney. Make every effort to get help by attending substance abuse classes or by seeing a counselor. Making an effort to overcome your problem may help a judge look favorably on your case.

Seek to Mend Relationships

Making an effort to mend the relationship with the accuser and/or any relatives involved might be helpful. Sometimes this is all it takes to get charges dropped. Be truly regretful for any harm you caused and apologize to every person involved. If you have shown a pattern of abuse with multiple incidences, let them know you are willing to seek help for your problem. If it only happened once due to stress and loss of temper, then let them know you will take measures to ensure it won't happen again.

Keep Accurate Records

Make sure you keep a journal of events from the time you're accused until your day in court. Write notes about every conversation you have with the accuser or her family/friends. Keep records of any meetings, paperwork, etc. related to your case. This will help your domestic violence attorney build a solid defense without having to backtrack.

Keep Your Obligations

If you are obligated to pay alimony, child support, or have visits with your children, then be sure to keep all your obligations. You might be tempted to drop everything when accused of domestic violence, but this will only add to the problem. Show that you are continuing to be responsible despite the circumstances.

Discredit a False Accuser

If falsely accused, find ways to discredit your accuser as a witness. Note any inconsistencies in statements or any inaccuracy in her recount of events. If other witnesses are involved, do the same. One lie leads to another, and judges can often see through the lies when someone is on the witness stand. But don't take this for granted. Approach every question and answer session with much scrutiny. Your lawyer should do the same, but you are the only one who knows the truth first-hand and the events exactly as they happened.

Don't Incriminate Yourself

A domestic violence lawyer can only help you if you don't incriminate yourself. Have your lawyer present at all interviews and examinations. Don't allow yourself to be cornered by social workers or anyone else without a lawyer. If you are innocent of the crime, then maintain your innocence from start to finish. Don't plea bargain or admit to something you didn't do just so a judge will "go easy" on you. Keep the future in mind, and how it might affect your life and family in the long run.

If you haven't found a good lawyer yet, consider using the Web for your search. Many reputable attorneys have a website that explains their services in detail along with their credentials and track record. Use key phrases in search engines that are related to your state and/or city, such as "Miami Florida domestic violence attorney" if you live in Miami. This will narrow your search to those serving your local area.

Use these tips to help your attorney give you the best possible defense!








Chris Robertson is an author of Majon International, one of the worlds MOST popular internet marketing companies on the web. Learn more about Domestic Violence Attorney.


2011年6月29日 星期三

Escaping Domestic Violence - How to Find the Courage to Leave


The pit of relationship hell must be domestic violence as it corrodes both your emotional and physical strength. Your body hurts but so do your emotions and your heart. You feel violated physically and emotionally but fear, unworthiness and a glimmer of optimism battle for a place in your life. And this conflicting well of emotions is what immobilizes you? So what can you do to escape domestic violence? How do you find the courage to leave?

Be real! To find the courage to escape domestic violence you must take an honest look at your relationship and the emotions that it evokes.

a. Optimism. You have that nagging feeling that your partner will change and because they act extra nice after the violence you hang your confused emotions on this. But you have been here before and they have not changed. Why do you think that they will change now? What is your confidence based on? Your abusive partner's word? Has your abusive partner kept their word not to abuse you before? So why is today's promise from them any different? To get the courage to leave you must be honest with yourself and realize that your partner will not change and if you do not leave this domestic violence will kill you emotionally and maybe physically.

b. Fear. You are afraid that your abusive spouse will get so angry if you leave that they will become even more abusive than usual. They have trained you well with their violence so that you are now programmed to avoid making them angry. You will do anything not to make them angry. But again you have been here before; have all your efforts not to make them angry worked? Has all the walking on eggshells and fawning over them worked at stopping their violence toward you? Do you not realise that you cannot keep the peace with them as they are on the war path just waiting to pounce on you at the slightest hint of imagined wrong? Your fear of more abuse just keeps you in a position to get even more violence.

c. Isolated shame. When your spouse was first violent toward you, you felt incredible shame and so you hid this horrendous thing from your family and friends. And this was your first mistake because in a sick and perverted way it bound you to your abusive spouse as you now shared this incredibly horrible secret. You are ashamed that the person who is supposed to love you most in the world is raining such pain on you. You need to know that hiding shame does reduce it and it in fact magnifies it in your life and makes the prison that you built for yourself from it even stronger. To get the courage to escape from domestic violence you need to let someone you trust and who cares for you and who can lend you their support know what it is that you are facing in your marriage.

d. Unworthiness. An offshoot of domestic violence is a deep feeling of worthlessness. You feel like somehow you don't deserve to be treated better by your spouse. This is due to what your partner says when they abuse you as well as the shame you feel. To escape domestic violence you need to remember how you felt about yourself before the abuse started or to imagine how it would feel if you didn't have this cloud of violent abuse hanging over your life every single day of your life.

To escape domestic violence you must find the courage to leave your abusive spouse. To find this courage you must counter the lies and flawed attitudes that you currently have so that you can draw strength from the truth. You know the old saying 'the truth will set you free' well that is what facing reality in these 4 areas will do for you; set you free from the tyranny of domestic violence.








Rosy Anderson is a researcher in social economic issues and the way they affect decision making; and she enjoys writing and being in healthy, happy relationships. If however you have come out of domestic violence and your self-worth is low and you don't know how to rebuild your capacity to love yourself and others then I would strongly recommend these secrets to love and respect to help you heal and love yourself and others.


The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals that Protect Us From Violence

Each hour, 75 women are raped in the United States, and every few seconds, a woman is beaten. Each day, 400 Americans suffer shooting injuries, and another 1,100 face criminals armed with guns. Author Gavin de Becker says victims of violent behavior usually feel a sense of fear before any threat or violence takes place. They may distrust the fear, or it may impel them to some action that saves their lives. A leading expert on predicting violent behavior, de Becker believes we can all learn to recognize these signals of the "universal code of violence," and use them as tools to help us survive. The book teaches how to identify the warning signals of a potential attacker and recommends strategies for dealing with the problem before it becomes life threatening. The case studies are gripping and suspenseful, and include tactics for dealing with similar situations.

People don't just "snap" and become violent, says de Becker, whose clients include federal government agencies, celebrities, police departments, and shelters for battered women. "There is a process as observable, and often as predictable, as water coming to a boil." Learning to predict violence is the cornerstone to preventing it. De Becker is a master of the psychology of violence, and his advice may save your life. --Joan Price


A Q&A with Gavin de Becker

Question: In todaya€?s world, where terror and tragedy seem omnipresent, the fear of violence never seems more heightened. Is the world a more violent place than it ever has been?

Gavin de Becker : Your question contains much of the answer: todaya€?s world, "where terror and tragedy seem omnipresent..." The key word is "seem." When TV news coverage presents so much on these topics, it elevates the perception of terrorism and tragedy way beyond the reality. In every major city, TV news creates forty hours of original production every day, most of it composed and presented to get our attention with fear. Hence an incident on an airplane in which a man fails to do any damage is treated as if the make-shift bomb actually exploded. It didna€?t. Imagine having a near miss in your car, avoiding what would have been a serious collision--and then talking about every hour for months after the fact. Welcome to TV news.

To the second part of your question, No, the world is not a more violent place than it has ever been, however we live as if it were. The U.S. is the most powerful nation in world history--and also the most afraid.

Question: Your bestselling book The Gift of Fear gives many examples to help readers recognize what you call pre-incident indicators (PINS) of violence. What role does intuition play in recognizing these signals?

Gavin de Becker: Like every creature on earth, we have an extraordinary defense resource: We dona€?t have the sharpest claws and strongest jaws--but we do have the biggest brains, and intuition is the most impressive process of these brains. It might be hard to accept its importance because intuition is often described as emotional, unreasonable, or inexplicable. Husbands chide their wives about "feminine intuition" and dona€?t take it seriously. If intuition is used by a woman to explain some choice she made or a concern she cana€?t let go of, men roll their eyes and write it off. We much prefer logic, the grounded, explainable, unemotional thought process that ends in a supportable conclusion. In fact, Americans worship logic, even when ita€?s wrong, and deny intuition, even when ita€?s right. Men, of course, have their own version of intuition, not so light and inconsequential, they tell themselves, as that feminine stuff. Theirs is more viscerally named a "gut feeling," but whatever name we use, it isna€?t just a feeling. It is a process more extraordinary and ultimately more logical in the natural order than the most fantastic computer calculation. It is our most complex cognitive process and, at the same time, the simplest.

Intuition connects us to the natural world and to our nature. It carries us to predictions we will later marvel at. "Somehow I knew," we will say about the chance meeting we predicted, or about the unexpected phone call from a distant friend, or the unlikely turnaround in someonea€?s behavior, or about the violence we steered clear of, or, too often, the violence we elected not to steer clear of. The Gift of Fear offers strategies that help us recognize the signals of intuition--and helps us avoid denial, which is the enemy of safety.

Question: Your latest book, Just 2 Seconds, has been called a "masterpiece" of analysis on the art of preventing assassination. It contains an entire compendium of attacks on protected persons across the globe. What motivated you to put together such a definitive reference? What tenets can be applied to onea€?s everyday life?

Gavin de Becker: Most of all, we wrote the book we needed. My co-authors and I had long looked for an extensive collection of attack summaries from which important new insights could be harvested. Unable to find it, we committed to do the work ourselves, eventually collecting more than 1400 cases to analyze. Many new insights and concepts emerged from the study, and the one most applicable to day to day life, even for people who are not living with unusual risks, is to be in the present; pre-sent, as it were. Now is the only time anything ever happens--now is where the action is. All focus on anything outside the Now (the past, memory, the future, fantasy) detracts focus from whata€?s actually happening in your environment. Human being have the capacity to look right at something and not see it, and in studying such a crisp event--the few seconds during which assassinations have occurred--Just 2 Seconds aims to enhance the readera€?s ability to see the value of the present moment.

(Photo Ac Avery Helm)


Price: $15.00


Click here to buy from Amazon

2011年6月28日 星期二

Domestic Violence Will Change Lives


Domestic violence is increasing in almost every part of the world. It is growing not only among heterosexual couple but also between partners of same sex. A result of tension loaded life-style and ego clash, domestic violence is emerged as the biggest reason after broken relationship.

Charged-up Domestic Battery in the City

In the city of Las Vegas, the percentage of violence has increased more than any other part of USA. This violence is taking place among people of all age group including teenage couples as well as old-age pairs. Nowadays almost every alternate couple in the city is looking forward for services of domestic abuse lawyer.

In accordance with Nevada law, if any outward scars is visible on a woman or man's face, she/he is surely dealing with the domestic trauma. These scars are obvious sign of the domestic abuse. Generally people try to hide these external wounds, scars and bruises, as they don't want to break their family and try the most to save it. This normally happens in a case when a female is the victim of domestic abuse.

Many times, it is anticipated that women do not want to reveal the reason of such scars because they want to save the culprit but reality is something else; According to almost every Las Vegas domestic violence lawyer, victims do not reveal names of perpetrator because their ultimate aim is not to save their partner instead they want to save their children. They do it to save themselves too, as it is always poor to face the questioning eye of others. This way they try to console themselves by thinking that she allowed no body to peep in her life. Las Vegas domestic abuse lawyer also confirms that in few cases, such abuse becomes very dangerous as it leads to the case of suicide, family murder or murder of spouse.

In many cases, after tolerating a continued domestic torment, victims find themselves helpless, which is the most treacherous condition. At this phase, they either try to kill themselves or punish the person who is responsible for their poor conditions. A poor domestic atmosphere make these victims more prone to depression and feelings of self-abhorrence. Las Vegas domestic violence lawyer suggest victims family to provide a legal as well as emotional support to the person, who is going trough the sad case of bedroom torment.

Domestic violence is curse not only for the victim but also for his/her family and the entire society. Also known as domestic battery situation, this is responsible for thousands of death every year. A domestic battery situation cuts the victim from his/her family, friends and all the loved ones. People suffering from the high-level of domestic violence, generally try to keep them selves away from everyone. Psychologists explains that they do it for the sake of getting way from the social embarrassment. All the domestic abuse lawyers advocate that, the victim must get proper legal support at such delicate phase of her/his life. There are numerous laws in support of such people.








Chuck Stewart recently reviewed the cases of a Las Vegas domestic violence lawyer. He was fascinated by the quality work provided by the Las Vegas domestic abuse lawyer he spent time with.


2011年6月27日 星期一

Domestic Violence Is Alive And Well


Unfortunately, domestic violence is very much alive and well -- and thriving. According to the National Victims Center, one woman is raped every minute, and 30% of all women murdered in this country are murdered by their boyfriends or husbands.

Domestic violence is a particularly grim topic and a vicious crime, because it involves pain and suffering (even loss of life) inflicted by a friend, someone who claims to care, or a so-called loved one.

Many people ask, "Why don't the victims just leave? Why do they stay?"

The Abuse We Don't See

Usually by the time the physical abuse starts in a relationship, the emotional and psychological abuse has already destroyed all the dignity and self-esteem of the victim.

Victims feel ashamed and are embarrassed to tell others about their situations. They are fearful of leaving because of threats from their abusers and financial dependence.

In many instances, victims are manipulated to believe they deserve this treatment and it is somehow their fault. Abusers know exactly what to say and do to keep the abused in emotional captivity.

Victimizing the Victim

Victims view leaving as being more painful than staying, because of the imagined and real repercussions either from the perpetrator or from society at large.

Many people in the world still don't understand domestic violence. Therefore, they victimize the victim further by blaming the victim or making comments like: "You should have just left." "I would never be so stupid as to stay in an abusive relationship." "That would never happen to me."

People make jokes in our society about men "getting over" or using women -- men who are " Players." Even today, there are still groups of people who have the mindset that women are not equal to men and are just sexual objects.

Control

Domestic violence is about control -- being mentally controlled by a significant other. That is the reason why, after leaving an abusive relationship, a victim will go back to her abuser an average of four times before she decides she has the mental strength to leave for good.

Now What?

I believe the remedy for domestic violence lies in building a society in which we honor ourselves. When we honor ourselves, it is difficult to dishonor someone else or to be dishonored. Yeah, easier said than done.

We can start with our children and try to stop domestic violence by educating the new generations.

Teach Our Children

Tell our children how wonderful they are. Tell our girls and our boys from the time they are born that they are glorious miracles. Teach them to love, respect, and celebrate who they are -- just because. Teach them that we all come from one wonderful source. Teach them that each of us can only be as strong as the weakest among us.

Teach our children how to honor by honoring them. Teach our children how to respect themselves by respecting them and respecting ourselves. Teach our children that to love someone -- being in love -- is to encourage each other to be free and to support each other in expressing and exploring all of the wonderful possibilities in life.

Teach them that love is not about control. Love is about wanting the very best for all concerned.

In the Meantime

In the meantime, let's start by at least acknowledging that domestic violence does exist and is a major problem in our society. It knows no economic, racial, religious, gender, or educational boundaries. Let's take it out of the closet and deal with it. Talk about it. Tell somebody about it.

Support your local shelters and any programs in your community that are about helping to save the lives of victims of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological and emotional abuse. They need our help. By helping them, we are helping ourselves.

The Price

According to a report from the American Medical Association, family violence costs this nation from 5 to 10 billion dollars annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters and foster care, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity.

Educate Yourself

Educate yourself, your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors, and, of course, your children. If you are in an abusive relationship, know that there is life after abuse.

Know the Warning Signs

o If you meet a man who says, "Yes, I've hit women in the past, but they made me do it," RUN.

o Avoid anyone who rushes you into a firm commitment very early in the relationship.

o Think twice about committing to someone who says, "I cannot live without you."

o If you're in a relationship where you feel you have to watch what you say -- you are not comfortable being yourself, because you don't want to upset him or be criticized -- know that this is not a good thing.

o If you're in a relationship with someone who wants to know what your every move is -- he interrogates you about where you were, who you were with, and what happened -- run.

o Think twice before you get into a relationship with someone who never takes the blame for anything - if according to him, it is always somebody else's fault.

o No matter how flattered you feel that someone wants you all to himself (disrupting relationships with friends and family), this is a serious warning sign.

o There are many other signs that can alert us to be cautious about continuing a relationship with a certain person.

Many times we see the writing on the wall, but for some reason, we refuse to read it until it's too late.

Don't Settle

Don't be a "settler." By this, I mean, don't just settle for any relationship for any reason. Know what you want and know especially what you don't want in a relationship, ahead of time.

Stop Domestic Violence

We are miraculous individuals. Many of us have "beat the odds" more than once. We have done what some said could not be done. We've moved forward when we thought we were stuck. We have faced challenges and walked through them with ours heads held high.

Surely, together, we can end this unnecessary pain and suffering. We can move domestic violence out of our lives.

I believe we do have the power and the ability to build a society in which we honor ourselves. When we honor ourselves, it is difficult to dishonor someone else or to be dishonored.








Wambui Bahati "Miss Inspiration" is an inspirational and motivational speaker and entertainer. Her passion is reminding you of your magnificence. http://www.wambui-bahati.com/


Solving The Bullying Problem

An EBook(R) That Offers Solutions To Parents And Victims Of Bullying.


Check it out!

2011年6月26日 星期日

Analysing the Types of Domestic Violence


Domestic violence is defined as "inter-spousal physical or emotional abuse." It's easy for victims to say, "Well he doesn't actually hit me," but harmful words, threats, name-calling and manipulation often lead to more serious consequences later down the road. Often, couples in domestic disputes lose sight of reality and feel that fighting is "normal," or that it's "healthy to disagree." However, one should never feel afraid of his or her partner, unable to freely discuss certain topics without provoking outrage, or restrained by a partner's obsessive jealousy.

Johnson and Ferraro (2000) classified domestic violence into five different types. The first type is called "Common Couple Violence," where there are one or two incidents of extreme violence that doesn't follow a pattern of attempted control. These abusers (which are 56% male and 44% female) are usually non-violent outside the house and are least likely to be sexually or emotionally violent. The second type is called "Intimate Terrorism," which is a pattern of control and manipulation that involves emotional abuse. These assailants are more likely to kill their partners and plot revenge following the breakup of a relationship.

The third type of domestic violence is "Violent Resistance," where one partner acts controlling and intimidating, while the other partner reacts in violent self-defense. This kind of violence may be a one-time event or a pattern. "Mutual Violent Control" or mutual combat involves two people using violence to control one another. The last domestic violence type is called "Dysphoric-Borderline Violence," which describes a needy, dependent and emotionally imbalanced person who turns to "pitbull" type violence out of frustration, depression, fear of abandonment and neediness.

The biggest risk for personal injury in domestic violence relationships comes at the point of separation, which is why most victims are reluctant to leave. Since threats and violence are typically control strategies, the abuser may feel more inclined to react extremely to maintain power.

However, the break can be done quickly, efficiently and safely with a proper plan. Emergency, shelter and counseling services are available through the Red Cross, Family Rescue, the National Organization of Women and the National Domestic Abuse hotline. These organizations can help you devise and implement a safe escape plan.

Once domestic violence has occurred, you must immediately begin planning how to get out. While you prepare to leave, take photo documentation of injuries sustained during a violent episode, take pictures of damaged property if applicable and write down everything that happened. Tell someone what is happening to you. If you are injured, then go in for care.

Be sure your children are safe at a friend's house or at least locked in their room. Hopefully, you have saved some emergency money, saved a spare set of keys and have kept your financial documents, medication, identification and important documents together, ready to go. While it may seem difficult to imagine leaving, there is no way to live happily and healthily in an abusive situation.








Visit us for free tips and training to help you make quick easy money and have the financial freedom you deserve.


2011年6月25日 星期六

Teenage Depression - Domestic Violence


Domestic violence is a pervasive problem in the world today. While violence and abuse in the home has long-lasting traumatic effects on children and teenagers alike, it is during the critical teenage years that domestic violence most impacts on the emerging adult. Research suggests that teenagers who are exposed to domestic violence have a high risk of having violent relationships themselves, either as the victim or as the abuser.

It is estimated that more than 3 million children and teenagers are exposed to domestic violence in the United States each year. Domestic violence refers to the act of unwarranted violence and physical intimidation of one or more members of a household on one or more others. It is important to remember that there is no 'typical' picture of violence in a home and it is often very well hidden from those on the outside, even close friends and family. The stereotype of domestic violence is that of the father abusing the mother. However there are many reported cases of the reverse being true, of teenagers physically abusing their parents and even of older siblings behaving violently toward siblings. Also, while drugs and alcohol is often an influencing factor, there are many instances where the abuser is a respectable member of the wider society.

Teenagers who experience domestic violence have the difficult task of hiding their traumatic realities from their peers, while still maintaining a facade of normality within their social lives. This is especially difficult in the teen years, because it is during this time that social occupations such as sleepovers, having friends over to 'hang out', hosting parties, etc, are important. When teens are afraid to open their homes to friends, and remain secretive about their home life, it has a negative impact on their ability to build close relationships among their peers, leading them to feel lonely, isolated and depressed. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that domestic violence often results in the teen struggling to form trusting relationships and the onset of teenage depression is most likely, especially among those with a not-so-strong personality.

The teen years are also a time of dating and starting to develop more adult relationships. When a teen lives in a home with domestic violence, they lack examples of healthy relationships to learn from which often results in the teen engaging in violent relationships themselves. Other negative effects of domestic violence are that the teen may become overly anxious, and struggle to concentrate which impacts on school work. When teenagers in violent homes have younger siblings they often 'grow up' too quickly taking on the parent role in an attempt to protect their younger siblings. Teenagers who live in violent homes need the support of a trusted adult such as a school councillor or social worker to help them deal with the problem. It also really helps to be able to confide in a close friend, especially when the trouble at home escalates.








The must read book: "All you wanted to know about Teen Depression", is available at: [http://www.depression-teenage.com]

Anne Ross is a Psychotherapist, Counsellor, Crises facilitator, Cranial Sacral and Myofascial Therapist, including various other Massage/Body/Energy techniques, but above all she is a mother.

She is an accredited member of the Traditional-Medicine Society and the Association of Transactional Analysis.


2011年6月24日 星期五

Domestic Violence and Women


Every single day a number of health care professionals have to encounter an incident of an abused victim turning to them to request help. But even of you are not a trained professional you should be familiar with what domestic violence is and what it can do to victims. Then you will be better prepared to react correctly in case you encounter such an unfortunate incident. Helping the victim regain a sense of control over his or her life should not be your responsibility if you are not a trained professional, but being informed can sometimes save a victim from keeping everything within and self-destruct.

Domestic violence is characterized as a pattern of coercive behaviors that may include repeated battering and injury, psychological abuse, sexual assault, progressive social isolation, deprivation and intimidation. Someone who is or was involved in an intimate relationship, with the victim, might perpetrate these behaviors. According to official data from law enforcement units and medical institutions, gender plays an important role in dynamics of abuse. Over 85 percent of reported victims of domestic violence are women and most perpetrators are men. Moreover, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women of all ages and the leading cause of injury to pregnant women and ladies between 18 and 44 years of age.

On the other hand, domestic violence is also known as "partner violence or spouse abuse" since experts recognize that also men may be abused in intimate relationships. In addition, many of today's societies report domestic violence incidents between gay or lesbian partners, since this type of intimidating behavior is not a characteristic of a specific sexual orientation. Physical assault, sexual abuse, threats against person, creating stress and psychological damage to children or loved ones, destruction of home or personal property, are some of the most common cases reported as examples of domestic violence incidents.

Unfortunately, although extremely common, domestic violence is considered an extremely sensitive subject that victims do not easily report and thus it remains confined inside the particular territory of a family's neighborhood or even walls. Some of the most common domestic violence myths include that it is a behavior pattern indicative of particular economic and social groups; it is a marital problem; victims will never speak of what they are experiencing; it is associated with alcohol or drug abuse; and that violence can be handed down from one generation to the next.

In fact, research indicates that violence may be a learned behavior, particularly from observation, however all men who are violent do not have histories of violence in childhood. Very interesting is the fact that unmarried partners and those who are separated or divorced have higher rates of abuse than those who are married. Additionally, rate of domestic violence vary little between economic and/or cultural groups. Finally, while studies have shown that alcohol and/or drug addiction and violence frequently coexist, they are not resulting from each other and that violent behavior will not end unless professional treatment and adequate interventions address both problems; the substance abuse and the violent behavior.








Kadence Buchanan writes articles on many topics including Women's Health [http://forahealthywoman.com/], Cooking [http://cookingforfun.net/], and Women [http://iwomensinterests.com/]


House Heating Guide

Domestic Heating Guide gives information about how to choose the best and most modern heating systems for houses. IT is a must reading when revamping a house or making a new one. It is a unique work about house heating systems.


Check it out!

2011年6月23日 星期四

ScottCounseling.com

ScottCounseling offers parents hundreds of free parenting articles. ScottCounseling offers online counseling services and parenting eBook promotions.


Check it out!

2011年6月22日 星期三

The Color Purple

The Color PurpleSteven Spielberg, proving he's one of the few modern filmmakers who has the visual fluency to be capable of making a great silent film, took a melodramatic, D.W. Griffith-inspired approach to filming Alice Walker's novel. His tactics made the film controversial, but also a popular hit. You can argue with the appropriateness of Spielberg's decision, but his astonishing facility with images is undeniable--from the exhilarating and eye-popping opening shots of children playing in paradisiacal purple fields to the way he conveys the brutality of a rape by showing hanging leather belts banging against the head of the shaking bed. In a way it's a shame that Whoopi Goldberg, a stage monologist who made her screen debut in this movie, went on to become so famous, because it was, in part, her unfamiliarity that made her understated performance as Celie so effective. (This may be the first and last time that the adjective understated can be applied to Goldberg.) Nominated for 11 Academy Awards, including best picture and actress (supporting players Oprah Winfrey and Margaret Avery were also nominated), it was quite a scandal--and a crushing blow to Spielberg--when it won none. --Jim Emerson

Price: $14.98


Click here to buy from Amazon

2011年6月21日 星期二

Domestic Violence Powerpoint Template - Domestic Violence Powerpoint (PPT) Presentation

Interactive PowerPoint templates are available for Domestic Violence PowerPoint presentations.
The ppt templates are amazingly designed to make wonderful Domestic Violence PowerPoint presentations.
The above PowerPoint (ppt) template is designed by expert designers.
Domestic Violence PowerPoint template is editable and ppt template can be customized according to
the need and also the above Domestic Violence PowerPoint template is very attractive and made according to the topic.
This PowerPoint template is compatible on all versions of Microsoft office.Just be a successful presenter
by using PowerPoint template for your Domestic Violence PowerPoint presentation.The above PowerPoint templates have
realistic images with fabulous PowerPoint background and PowerPoint themes.

Price:


Click here to buy from Amazon

'Child Abuse' Wall Decal - Removable Graphic

'Child Abuse' Wall Decal - Removable GraphicWallMonkeys wall graphics are printed on the highest quality re-positionable, self-adhesive fabric paper. Each order is printed in-house and on-demand. WallMonkeys uses premium materials & state-of-the-art production technologies. Our white fabric material is superior to vinyl decals. You can literally see and feel the difference. Our wall graphics apply in minutes and won't damage your paint or leave any mess.PLEASE double check the size of the image you are ordering prior to clicking the 'ADD TO CART' button. Our graphics are offered in a variety of sizes and prices.
  • WallMonkeys are intended for indoor use only.
  • Printed on-demand in the United StatesYour order will ship within 3 business days, often sooner. Some orders require the full 3 days to allow dark colors and inks to fully dry prior to shipping. Quality is worth waiting an extra day for!
  • Removable and will not leave a mark on your walls.
  • 'Fotolia' trademark will be removed when printed.
  • Our catalog of over 10 million images is perfect for virtually any use: school projects, trade shows, teachers classrooms, colleges, nurseries, college dorms, event planners, and corporations of all size.

    Price:


    Click here to buy from Amazon

  • 2011年6月20日 星期一

    Domestic Violence Against Women and Children


    Many years ago, I made friends with a professor who taught business communications in a respectable Long Island University. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that this self-reliant, well-educated, and good-looking woman could be the victim of domestic abuse. Yet, she was. As our friendship grew, she began to trust me and tell me about the awful experiences in her past. She had stayed in that abusive marriage for over fourteen years. When her son turned fourteen, for his sake as she put it, she ended the marriage. Fortunately for her, it was an opportune time because the husband had a girl friend who had become pregnant by him.

    It is not always that easy. Most of the time the abusive partner does not want to let go and women cannot leave even if they want to, or if they do, they face poverty, stalking by their exes, or death.

    During the last couple of decades, thanks to more awareness nationwide, domestic violence is being treated as a social and medical issue. This has led to opening of shelters and educating the caregivers and the public nationwide. Most states now require domestic violence courses for granting medical licenses.

    Even with all the steps taken, experts agree that statistics of domestic violence are understated. In the United States a woman is battered every fifteen seconds. Seventeen percent of the adult pregnant women and twenty-one percent of pregnant teens are battered. The most important clue to abuse of a woman is child abuse. Children raised in a violent home are seventy four percent more likely to commit a crime against another person and fifty percent are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. Violence is the reason stated for divorce in twenty two percent of the marriages and domestic violence is the leading cause of injury in women.

    Statistically, the domestic abuser is a male, although sometimes these roles may be reversed. The abuser uses threat of violence or violence itself in order to gain power, domination, and control over his partner. The events are usually progressive. They may begin with verbal abuse, belittling, making the woman lose confidence in herself and her actions. Afterwards, they escalate into shouting, pushing, and beating. Added to all this are an extremely insane, and uncontrollable jealousy and attempts to limit the actions of the woman to reach her family and friends or any kind of help. Thus the victim, progressively and on purpose, is caused to be isolated from the outside. Although some abusers may be helped by psychotherapy and behavior modification therapies, most abusers will not stay in therapy long enough.

    Abuse and the tendency to control can be recognized even in a dating relationship. These are "forgiven" because the victim "loves" the abuser. She also mistakenly may believe that she can change the behavior after marriage and children. Unfortunately this is not the case. The controlling behavior continues all through the relationship and even after the divorce. After the divorce many men continue this control by not paying court ordered child-care or alimony payments.

    Although abuse is expressed in many different ways, usually there seems to be a repetitive pattern or cycle of violence escalating to a higher level at each incident.

    The pattern circulates like this:

    * After each incident the abuser apologizes.

    * Promises are made for rehabilitation attempts.

    * The abuser blames the victim.

    * After some thought he denies, minimizes or rationalizes his actions.

    * He brings gifts and is very charming for a short while.

    * Soon both parties forget the incident.

    * No abuse takes place for a while.

    * Tension starts to rise.

    * Minor incidents as if making mountains out of molehills begin.

    * Communication breaks down.

    * Victim and the family start being very careful around the abuser. "Walking on egg shells syndrome"

    * Explosive episodes start and abuse -physical, sexual or emotional- occurs.

    Abusers may also show behaviors that represent their own personal dynamics, pointing to behaviors they observed when the abusers were children, events within current or past relationships, or their evaluation of what they can lose at each episode.

    Abusers exist in all levels of society, in all age groups, and socioeconomic levels. Abusers carry some or all of these characteristics:

    * Violent temper

    * Limited tolerance for frustration

    * Jealousy, often to the extreme, erupting in violence

    * Ego problems - He is (men are) always right.

    * Career disappointments- even when they seem to be successful to others

    * Accepting no responsibility for the abuse

    * Inability to accept blame for any failure

    * Suffering from depression, which they hide very aptly

    * Attempting to isolate spouses and children

    * Having a history of abuse in their childhood or within their family

    * Increasing abusive behavior when the partner is pregnant

    * Making promises for change and for things getting better

    * Believing abusive behavior to be necessary to control the family and the children

    * Having their abusive skills "improve" with time

    * Demanding sexual practices not desired by the partner, leading to marital rape

    * Exerting control over the partner by threatening suicide or homicide

    An abused woman suffers emotional, psychological, physical and financial problems. Ninety per cent do not report it to their physicians and when asked about the scars they invent stories to cover up the abusive partner. Most of the time the covering up of the victim is due to her assessment of the risk in her situation. She may have fear of retribution for herself and her children if the abuser learns that the violence is disclosed. She may also feel shame and humiliation of what is happening to her. She may think she deserves the abuse for any number of reasons. She may feel other people, her physician, co-workers etc. may be too busy. She may be unfamiliar with the help available in her community.

    Just like the abusers, victims too exist in all levels of society, in all age groups, and socioeconomic levels and have certain characteristics:

    * Fifty percent of them experienced violence in the family they were raised.

    * They marry young to escape their family.

    * They have often been in an another previous abusive relationship

    * They feel guilty to disturb others with their problems

    * They feel responsible for the abuser's actions

    * They may be protecting someone else other than themselves, usually their children.

    * They will do anything to keep the abuser calm and not angry.

    * They feel powerless with no choices

    * Since abuser has taken control of her, the victim loses the ability to make decisions and seek changes.

    * They show anxiety for making the routine decisions in everyday living, fearing a negative reaction to any decision they have made on their own.

    * They have feelings of helplessness and isolation especially created and reinforced by the abuser.

    * They have very low self-esteem, again intentionally reinforced by the abuser.

    * They suffer from medical problems, depression, substance abuse, and psychosomatic illnesses.

    * They don't sleep well mostly due to the concerns of violence and safety of themselves and their children.

    * They are always on guard.

    * They try very hard to make the home safe for their children because of that they take the blame for the abuser's actions.

    When anyone meets such a person and wants to help them there are messages to be given when the time is appropriate. The victim needs to know that she will be believed and listened to, that she does not deserve this treatment, that abuse is a common problem, that she is not alone because help is available.

    A Battered Woman's Bill of Rights

    She has:

    * The right not to be abused

    * The right to be angry over past beatings

    * The right to choose to change the situation

    * The right to freedom from the fear of abuse

    * The right to request and expect assistance from the police and social agencies

    * The right to share her feelings and not be isolated from others

    * The right to want a better role model for her children

    * The right to be treated like an adult

    * The right to leave the battering environment

    * The right to privacy

    * The right to express her own thoughts and feelings

    * The right to develop her individual talents and abilities

    * The right to legally prosecute the abuser

    * The right not to be perfect

    ----------

    Child abuse and domestic violence often exist together. The following symptoms in children should alert us to examine their situation more closely.

    Prenatal:

    * Miscarriages due to beatings or mother's stress

    * Poor health due to lack of proper nutrition or mother's stress

    Infants:

    * Crying and irritability

    * Sleep disturbances

    * Digestive problems

    Toddlers and Preschoolers:

    * Being more aggressive or withdrawn than other children

    * Impaired cognitive abilities

    * Delays in motor or verbal abilities

    * General fearfulness or anxiety

    * Stomach aches and nightmares

    * Lack of bowel and bladder control over three years old

    * Lack of confidence to begin new tasks

    School Age:

    * Poor grades and/or special classes

    * Failing one or more grade levels

    * Poor social skills

    * Low self-esteem

    * Aggressiveness

    * Outbursts of anger

    * Bed-wetting or nightmares

    * Digestive problems, headaches

    Teenagers:

    * Poor grades, failure, quitting school

    * Low self-esteem

    * Refuses to bring friends home, stays away or runs away from home

    * Has no or few friends or withdraws from them

    * Feels responsible for taking care of home and mother

    * Violent outbursts and destroying property

    * Poor judgment and irresponsible decision making

    * Immaturity

    * Inability to communicate feelings

    * Bedwetting, nightmares

    * Severe acne, headaches

    * Joining in on beatings of mother

    * Females getting hit by boyfriends

    * Males hitting their girlfriends

    SUGGESTIONS IF YOU ARE A VICTIM

    If you find yourself facing a violent incident:

    * Leave the physical presence of the batterer if possible.

    * Leave home; locate your escape items.

    * Get to a room with a lock on the door and a telephone.

    * Call 911 or call the local shelter for battered women.

    * Have your children call the police.

    * Scream so your neighbor may hear and call the police.

    * If you have to leave your children in the home contact the police immediately.

    * If you leave by car, lock your car doors immediately and do not unlock the doors until you arrive safely at your destination.

    * Check yourself and children for injuries and go to the hospital if necessary.

    * Try to protect yourself in any way you can, if you can't leave.

    The items you may need for a comfortable, safe escape:

    * MONEY : Always have some hidden. If you can't keep it at home keep it in an easily accessible place, night or day. Plan to have enough for rent, phone calls, gas, food etc.

    * KEYS : have extra sets both for the car and the home. One for you, the other to put some place else other than the home or to give to a friend for safekeeping.

    * EXTRA CLOTHING : Consider the fact that you might have to escape in any season. Choose the clothing accordingly.

    * IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS : Have a plan to gain quick access to them. At least have copies made.

    1. social security numbers - his, yours, and children's

    2. birth certificates- yours and children's

    3. pay stubs -his and yours

    4. bank accounts

    5. insurance policies

    6. marriage license

    7. driver's licenses -yours and a copy of his

    8. any ownership papers of property

    9. copies of all you monthly bills

    10. valuable jewelry

    · IMPORTANT TELEPHONE NUMBERS:

    1. local police department or 911

    2. shelter and another alternative shelter

    3. victim's assistance

    4. probation officer

    5. social services

    6. your counselor

    7. his counselor

    ------------------

    Sources:

    My Personal Notes

    Salber and Taliaferro "The Physician's Guide to Domestic Violence" Volcano Press 1995

    June Sheehan Berlinger, R.N. "Domestic Violence"

    Jacobson, Neil and Gottman "When Men Batter Women: Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships" Simon and Schuster 1988








    Joy Cagil is an author on Writing.Com (http://www.Writing.Com/) Her training is in foreign languages and linguistics. In her background are psychology, mental health, visual arts and music. Her portfolio can be found at: http://www.Writing.Com/authors/joycag


    2011年6月19日 星期日

    100 Domestic Violence Facts


    1. Japan is known for being big on video-games, as a matter of fact they even have a "Domestic Violence Video Game.

    2. DV, Spousal Abuse and intimate partner abuse statistics come from only two major sources, Agency Data and Survey Data. The problem with the data is that it is biased because it is too varied, complex and partially unvolunteering.

    3 Fact: DV shelters funded by the Federal Government are not required to produce information and do not, information about what they do, how many numbers in or out is unknown, statistics and algorythims are not recorded, this does not help determine if domestic violence is rising or decreasing.

    4. Legally and fully married couples report less than 5% of domestic violence calls and are less violent than the more unstable and unbonded relationship.

    5. A CDC (center for disease control) survey found that 50 percent of all spousal violence was mutual making Partner aggression two-way.

    6. 75% of domestic violence is caused by drug addicts.

    7. Pets such as dogs, cats, etc are affected by Domestic Violence just as much as humans.

    8. More than 50% of spousal Abusers also abuse their children.

    9. Domestic violence occurs in both Religioius and NON Religious families.

    10. Spousal Abuse occurs in poor, middle class, rich and in wealthy families although lower income families are more lkely to experience it.

    11. It was illegal for a man to hit his wife after 9 P.M. in London ( meaning it was ok before 9 P.M.) reasoning was that women needed time to rest in order to do house chores.

    12. Domestic Violence is a disease as it can be transmitted from one generation to the other.

    13. Battered women shelters serve more children than they do women.

    14. All Abusers do in fact feel guilt and are afraid of being caught.

    15. Statistics on Domestic Violence are not precise, never have been and never will be. However, statistics certainly can become more accurate.

    16. Women can indeed support themselves if they leave a domestic violence relationship, even if they believe otherwise. There are many programs available for DV victims.

    17. When a victim decides to leave and gets caught is when they are in the most danger.

    18. Domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness nationally.

    19. 25 % of all violent crimes reported in the UK are domestic violence related.

    20. Domestic Violence claims the life of 2 women a week minimum, based on what is reported.

    21. Often it is mocked, deemed foolish and comic when a man claims being a victim of domestic violence, however studies show that men lose their life to domestic violence at similiar rates as women do.

    22. Certain types of Abusers can be very well liked socially, can seem very nice out of the home debunking any claims the victim may have and making them feel NON-Credible.

    23. 63% percent of all murders committed by boys between the ages of 11 thru 20 kill their mother's Abuser.

    24. Every State in the U.S. has a State coalition against domestic violence.

    25. Domestic Violence can happen to anyone, even Oprah was once a victim and celebrities are constantly on the map for it.

    26. Prevention and Education of DV is not taught in schools, If you know of a school that does have classes please reply here.

    27. Police, Correctional, F.B.I, and High Ranking officials can also be Abuser's of Domestic Violence.

    28. Men can be just as afraid of women in intimate partner relationships.

    29. Men are less likely to report abuse as victims due to embarrassment, stigmas, credibility and nothing has been done to encourage it.

    30. Every 15 seconds a woman is assaulted by a boyfriend her husband or a lover, every 14 seconds the same happens to a man ( FOX 2 NEWS )

    31. There are 1500 Shelters for women in the United States and 3500 Animal Shelters, this is true there are more Animal Shelters.

    32. Court ordered Domestic Violence courses and classes are not always succesful and DO NOT Guarantee the abuse will stop, However it can and does help.

    33. Professionals such as, Doctors, Lawyers, Police Oficers, Ministers, Psychologists also beat their wives.

    34. Stopping an Abuser's Drug and or Alcohol problem will not stop their abusive patterns, they are two seperate entities although drug and alcohol use does make abuse more likely.

    35. Many assaults are planned, premeditated and can last for hours.

    36. Abuser's target NON visible part of the body and even when bruises are visible the victim usually manages to cover up the bruise.

    37. An abuser will assault a women in the stomach while she is pregnant as it manipulates the woman drastically as she does not want her baby hurt. This is what I call the 2 in 1, abusing 2 people with one stone.

    38. Police presence can make a woman even more vulnerable, because once the police is gone and the couple are back together, the victim will have to pay the consequences.

    39. Domestic and Family violence kills just as many women every 5 years as the number of Americans killed in the Viet Nam War according to (The Domestic Violence Sourcebook, Berry, 1996)

    40. Just 17 states kept data on reported domestic violence offenses in 1991, According to this report: (Senate Judiciary Committee Report, October 1992)

    41. Domestic Violence is the leading cause of death of women in the United States of America, According to the US Surgeon General.

    42. Among causes of injury to women combined such as muggings, rape, Car Accidents, slips and falls, work related injuries, Battering would be the leader of the pack being the single largest cause of injury to women nationally.

    43. 30 % of all Domestic Violence incidents involve weapons.

    44. 80% of OHIO prisoners come from homes where domestic violence was an issue, this includes juveniles as well as adults.

    45. Domestic Violence is not an anger contol, however the victim may be led to believe so.

    46. Children are aware of the DV in their home, even if it is hidden.

    47. It is a crime and it is against the law to harass or physically harm another human being.

    48. The U.S economy suffers a loss of up to $100 Million Dollars a year in Medical Expenses and between $3 and $5 Billion Dollars in missing work or sick days annually.

    49. 22% percent of all Divorces in middle-class relationshiops are due to violence (EAP Digest November/December 1991)

    50. Family Violence or Spousal Abuse is a secretive crime and can be a very well kept secret for years if not permanently.

    51. Pregnant women that are battered are more likely to have babies with defects,low birth weights and even miscarriages.

    52. Babysitters, Housekeepers, Gardeners, Caregivers, Guardians, Godparents, Butlers, and or sleepover friends are not exempt from domestic violence, no one is.

    53. local law enforcements are not required or mandated to maintain data on the relationship between victim and offender except in the case of murder.

    54. Until 1984 advising the Male partner to "take a walk around the block" was usually as much as police could legally do when responding to a domestic violence call.

    55. It was in 1984 that the United States Attorney General suggest that automatic arrest become standard when responding to a domestic violence call.

    56. Non Cooperation of the victim during abuser prosecution is too often the cause for dismissal of abuse cases, however some states no longer require the victim to follow thru and now continue prosecution when enough evidence allows. This is know as the no-drop policy.

    57. Abusers may use legal and or illegal drugs to spike a victim's food or drink in order to further manipulate them and make them more vulnerable.

    58. There are actually countries that do not have a domestic abuse law or crime bracket, for example in scotland there is no crime known as Domestic Abuse.

    59. Insurance companies treat Domestic Violence as a pre-existing condition. Meaning if you're husband beats you either you can be turned down for insurance or you may have to pay a much higher insuranace premium.

    60. Domestic Violence can be that of a slavery setting, where the victim works and the abuser reaps the benefits and controls every aspect of the victim's lifestyle.

    61. In any given Domestic Abuse Case 95% of the times The male partner is arrested.

    62. Domestic violence is an underreported crime Only approximately 25 percent of all physical assaults, and 50 percent of all stalkings perpetuated against females by intimate partners are reported.

    63. Over one Million of Domestic Violence allegations are false.

    64. In 7 out of 10 cases women were the aggressors of an Abuser/Abusee relationship where there male parnter did not re-act physically According to a national survey on partner aggression Published by the Centers for Disease Control in May 2007.

    65. Men and women commit domestic violence at similar rates according to Professor Linda Kelly of The Indiana State University School of Law.

    66. Women who experience domestic violence first hand are more likely to get sick in their latter years, sick as in suffereing from asthma, getting a stroke, 70% chance of having heart disease and a chance of turning to substance abouse or heavy drinking.

    67. Domestic and sexual violence are known to involve the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases such as H.I.V. etc

    68. The majority of women who have been victims of spousal abuse become less negotiating about practicing safe sex or using protection with future partners.

    69. Many Abuser's have no criminal history or crime record and can seem harmless, kind and family oriented.

    70. Undocumented immigrant victims are somehow more vulnerable to abuse, because of their partner's documented legal status, making them less likely to seek help due to deportation threats made by their abusers.

    71. Women use violence to resolve conflict in intimate relationships just as often as men according to a well-publicized study conducted by Dr. Murray Strauss of the University of New Hampshire.

    72. Abuser's with Legal U.S. Citizenship many times deter their victims from gaining U.S. Citizenship/legal status to keep them isolated.

    73. A host of different women from hispanic backgrounds such as Mexico and Columbia are lead to believe that Domestic Violence is acceptable because of their Macho like cultures.

    74. Undocumented Immigrants often do not trust the American Legal system when it comes to domestic abuse because of their fear of deportation, also the reason why they will stay in such relationships longer.

    75. Men are less likely to view partner aggression towards them as a crime, another reason why men don't come forward.

    76. A high number of women become victims due to them first initializing an assault towards their husband or partner.

    77. Women are more likely to report abuse then men are as victims.

    78. Domestic Violence does not appear on the U.S. Department Of Health and Human Services list of leading causes of injury. However, accidental slips and falls, over exertion and car accidents are.

    79. The cost of domestic violence towards men us "UNKNOWN" however the cost of domestic violence towards women is $5.8 Billion according to the center for disease control but supposedly $13 Billion from other sources.

    80. Automatic mandatory arrest laws escalate, not reduce, the risk of successful partner violence, because when abusers are let loose ther are known to retaliate.

    81. The claimed fact that women lose $8 Million days of paid work is actually reversed, this is the total amount of lost days in monies Men lose each year not women, do the math.

    82. 71% of kids killed by a parent were killed by their mothers, according to Data from the Department of Health and Human Services.

    83. Domestic violence facts and statistics are amongst the most misleading, mythical, railroaded, un-informative and farse facts and statistics ever. Much trickory and deception is used in the numbers brought forward.

    84. BWS or Battered Women's Syndrome firt came about in the 1970's. This alleged syndrome helped and cushioned women who murdered their husbands, boyfriends, or lovers. It was also used to justify why they killed their partners.

    85. Major Holidays aren't any better for victims than they are for Abusers, ThanksGiving and Christmas raises tention and stress in domestic abuse relationtips due to the victims yearning want to see his or her family and the abuser just not allowing it.

    86. Abusers tend to deplete their victim's bank accounts and destroy their cedit to make them less versatile and more dependant on their abusers.

    87. A staggering number of victims do not know what domestic abuse is, nor do they know that they are living it. Even when they have a sense that something's wrong, they do not see the abuse coming as it stems and grows, it is why they say love is blind.

    88. Spousal and Domestic Abuse rates are not their highest on Super Bowl Sunday than any other single day of the year. Not all men are into football, as a matter of fact men usually are not with their female partners on that day.

    89. The reason or reasons why victims stay in such relationships is or are limited financial funds to get out and move, fear of making the abuse worst if caught leaving, and immunity to the abuse, there is an old saying "we like what we know, but we are afraid of what we don't know"

    90. A century 100 Years Ago it was legal for the husband to beat his wife in the UK given that he only used a stick no thick in width than his thumb.

    91. Domestic Violence occours in absolutely all races and ethnic groups to any gender regardless of age.

    92. If battering and abuse is not decreasing, its increasing and tends to develop over time.

    93. Abusive women have used domestic violence as a tool to arrest and intimidate their male partners by making false claims that her husband assaulted her. With the new domestic abuse laws of mandatory arrest on a domestic abuse call this is an easy one for women to pull. ( Ladies don't get any ideas, if you're husband treats you well, be nice to him )

    94. A study on dating couples determined that 70 percent of all physical abuse was inflicted by both partiess.

    95. Blind, deaf, handicapped and mentally retarded persons are also subject to abuse one way or another.

    96. Military domestic violence statistics show that the army had the higher incidents of all the services Marines, Navy, and AirForce following in order.

    97. Technology has played a major role in domestic abuse recently. For example Abusers use Email, tracking devices, cell phones etc, to monitor their victims where abouts. Victimized Men have also incorporated the use of technology in the form of surveilance to record and prove that their spouse was indeed abusing them.

    98. Written policies, standards, protocols are a must by all law enforcement when responding to any domestic disputes.

    99. A victim does not have the option to choose whether they can press charges or drop the charges once an arrest is made. The state takes over the case and follows prosecution.

    100. A protective order, Order of protection, stay away order, restraining order, emergency protective restraining order whether temporary or permanent does not guarantee solid protection for a victim, especially since victims tend to allow the abuser to contact them after an arrest or the abuser may stalk the victim. However an automatic mandatory arrest is made if authorities are made aware that the perpetrator has violated such court order.








    Beth Ross is a moderator at http://www.domestic-violence-online-center.com/ voluntarily helps with the forum and contributes content for the site. Having gone thru domestic abuse in her past beth now passes on what she knows on her free time.


    2011年6月18日 星期六

    RM Awareness Ribbon Cookie Cutter for Pink or Purple Cancer Bake Sale Fundraisers / Yellow Support our Troops Cookies

    RM Awareness Ribbon Cookie Cutter for Pink or Purple Cancer Bake Sale Fundraisers / Yellow Support our Troops CookiesMake holiday or everyday cookies extra special when cut into shapes. Or, use to cut out shapes from brownies, bar cookies, or sandwiches. Great when baking cookies for a fundraising program: decorate the cookies with appropriately coloured sugars, royal icing, colour flow, or fondant. Common awareness ribbon colours are red (HIV/AIDS), pink (breast cancer), white (violence against women), and yellow (armed forces).
    Size: 3?"
    Dimensions: 3?"L × 1"D
    Materials: Tinplate
    Care: Hand wash and dry immediately. Do not soak in water. Not dishwasher safe.

    Price:


    Click here to buy from Amazon

    SolveYourProblem.com

    Self Improvement & Self Help Tips.


    Check it out!

    2011年6月17日 星期五

    Domestic Violence and Divorce


    Domestic violence is a pervasive problem within all sectors of American society. Regardless of income, race, or location, statistics indicate that violence is prevalent component of many intimate relationships. If you are in a relationship and your significant other has resorted to violence, you need to remove yourself from the situation and file for a protective order against the offender. If you have children, it may be in their best interest to prevent your significant other from visitation.

    Statistics

    According to statistics gathered from the National Domestic Violence Research Center:

    o Women accounted for 85% of the victims of intimate partner violence, men for approximately 15%.

    o It is estimated that between 960,000 and 3 million incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend occur each year

    o Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of experiencing nonfatal intimate partner violence

    o Nearly 2.2 million people called a domestic violence crisis or hot line in 2004 to escape crisis situations, seek advice, or assist someone they thought might be a victim

    o 25% of women have experienced some form of domestic violence in their lifetime

    What Constitutes Violence?

    Many people are unaware of the types of behavior which can constitute as violence. It may be surprising to learn, for example, psychological abuse is considered violence. The law recognizes all of the following actions as a form of domestic violence.

    Physical abuse-Any unwanted physical contact, such as pushing, shoving, hitting, punching, slapping, etc.

    Psychological abuse-This a broader category of violence that encompasses verbal threats, intimidation tactics, manipulation, isolation, and brain washing

    Sexual Abuse-Forcing your partner to partake in any non-censual sexual act

    Economic Control-Severely limiting your partner's actions by means of controlling finances can be considered domestic violence. For example, if an individual does not have the means to buy necessary goods for their wellbeing because their partner controls the money.

    Stalking-Obsessively following an individual's actions and infringing on their rights to privacy

    Divorce and Protection

    If you are the victim of domestic violence, you need the help of a skilled divorce attorney who can ensure the safety of you and your children by filing a protective order. A protective order is much more effective than a restraining order for preventing harassment and abuse from the offender. Additionally, an abusive partner should be considered when filing for divorce, as it should affect the offender's visitation rights.

    For more information on domestic violence and how it can affect your divorce, contact the Austin divorce lawyers of Slater Kennon & Jameson, LLP today.








    Joseph Devine


    2011年6月16日 星期四

    Seeking Help to End Domestic Violence - Domestic Violence Awareness


    Many women who find Domestic violence is a situation that no one should ever have to endure. themselves on the receiving end of domestic violence often want to remove themselves from the situation, but the fear of the unknown is simply larger than the fear of the next episode of abuse. Unfortunately, many women have suffered one type of abuse or another as a child and teenager. By the time that these women emerge into adulthood, physical and mental abuse almost seems like a way of life. If you are one of the women that suffer at the hand of another, you know exactly what I mean. If you decide, however, that you want to break yourself away from the disheartening and devastating effects of domestic violence, there is hope....

    What is Domestic Violence?

    Domestic violence is most commonly associated with spousal abuse; however, there are several different types of domestic violence that are becoming more recognized. Ultimately, this occurs when an individual attempts to gain complete control over someone that they share a relationship with. It is all about power, and the satisfaction of knowing that they have that power when it comes to defining the reasoning that an abuser would do this to someone. While many abusers will rationalize the abuse and claim that they felt as if they had no control, this is actually a choice that is rather deliberate.

    What Types of Domestic Violence Abusers Are There?

    There are many different types of domestic violence abusers. The type of violence will be determined by the ways that the abuser uses to gain control over another person. Some of these ways include:

    1. Isolation - Individuals who are controlled in this manner are kept away from everyone and everything. They often feel as if they are completely cut off from the world. In all actuality, they really are.

    2. Dominance - The abuser that expresses his control in a dominant manner will often control the finances of the home. They may also demand that you do one thing or another, and expect you to immediately correspond with the expressed command.

    3. Threats - Many individuals who abuse others will use threats as a form of intimidation. These threats may include physically hurting you and others, your loved ones and event letting you know that whatever you choose will result in severe consequences.

    As you can see, there are many different types of personality behaviors when it comes to different types of abusers. The previously mentioned types are just a small list of the many tactics and behaviors that may be used when it comes to domestic violence.

    Types of Domestic Abuse

    There are many different types of domestic abuse. There are many who will suffer from just one type while another may suffer from a little bit of everything. Below are the types of abuse that may be experienced:

    1. Physical Abuse - This includes the use of force that actually injures another person, and/or an act that completely puts the receiving party in danger. When the individual is threatened, this is considered to be a crime if the person experiences threat as a result of that injury. If someone goes beyond physical threats and touches another, this is considered to be battery. Samples of battery may include choking, pushing, hitting, and so on.

    2. Emotional Abuse - This type of abuse is another common domestic complication. This type of abuse includes activities like isolation, blaming, guilt, and several other emotions that eventually wear down the defenses of the mind on the whole.

    3. Sexual Abuse - This includes any and all unwelcomed sexual advances, being forced into having sex, and being made to be quite uncomfortable.

    4. Economic Abuse - This occurs when things of a financial manner become complications in the home. Many of these individuals will horde all of the money, credit cards, bank accounts, etc....Then, there are situations in which the abuser will get angry if you are not working, and you are forced to work tremendous hours in order to support the family while the abuser sits by entertaining themselves. If you fail to do as commanded, you are beat terribly or suffer some other complications.

    Signs of Domestic Violence

    There are a number of signs to look out for if you feel as if someone is being abused. Please note that this is only a small list of sample signs:

    1. Many victims will isolate themselves from the "outside" world when they are being abused.

    2. In a lot of cases, there are injuries that are sustained and the abuser that gave them to you will attempt to come up with some story that veers away from the abuse.

    3. Many will suffer when it comes to their work productivity and passion for work.

    Conclusion

    As you read this article, there is a woman in the world being held at the hands of her abuser. She is getting punched so hard in the face that you can almost feel it. She is being slapped, spit on, pushed, and maybe even being hospitalized right now. Yes, it is a sad situation. You can help make a difference in the lives of the abused. You should learn all that you can about the topic and then work to make a difference. We all deserve some freedom and peace... right?








    Resource info for Domestic Violence Awareness:

    http://www.womens-self-defense-instruction-online.com/domestic-violence-awareness.html

    The no cost Self defense Instruction for women online is not Karate Training, and you don't have to be a black belt to defend yourself. The goal is to help you develop a successful plan now, before something happens...or before something happens again!

    http://www.womens-self-defense-instruction-online.com/

    Be safe and you won't be sorry. By Bill Valentine, Self Defense Coach


    Domestic Violence and Why It Must Never Happen


    One out of 3 women around the world has been abused at least once in her lifetime and most often the abuser is a member of her own family, studies reveal. Because of its common occurrence, domestic violence may already be perceived as an acceptable phenomenon in several homes. Nonetheless, the prevalence of these occurrences is a clear indication that domestic violence is one of the crucial issues that must be taken seriously by the society.

    Domestic Violence Defined

    When people think of 'domestic violence', they typically associate it with the physical abusive actions that a person does towards a partner such as hitting, slapping and choking. However, the term actually refers to abuse which comes in several other forms.

    Domestic violence refers to actions that cause physical, emotional, mental, sexual and/or financial injury to a person, particularly an intimate partner in a relationship. Physically harmless acts like name-calling, humiliation and putting partner down are forms of domestic violence as well because these can be emotionally and psychologically detrimental to the victim. Domestic violence can also be sexual such as forcing an unwanted sex from a partner, as well as financial, which includes keeping a partner from getting a job and depriving a partner of access to money.

    Busting Myths

    Having fights in relationships is normal. Fights are actually necessary because these strengthen the bond between or among people in a relationship. However, if these fights result to the injury, or worst case scenario, death of another person, then these are never acceptable and must be taken action on.

    Domestic violence does not only refer to the violence that exists among married couples as it can happen in any kind of intimate relationship. Additionally, women are usually the victims; however, it can also be the other way around. There have been instances when the man is the one abused, although there are only few reported incidents of these.

    Effects on Children

    Children who are part of families experiencing domestic violence may not seem aware of the violence, but they actually are. As they grow, they are likely to be abused and neglected as well. The abuse that these children have witnessed or even experienced early in life may possibly even have long-term effects.

    Studies show that these children may become withdrawn, and have low self-esteem and stress-related problems. Consequently, they may have difficulty in school and in interactions with other people. As young adults, they may internalize the abuse that they have seen, thus are likely to exhibit violent and rebellious behaviour. It is said that one-fifth to one-third of these teenagers who are involved in dating relationships are also regularly abusing or being abused by their partners verbally, mentally, emotionally, sexually, or physically.

    What Should Be Done

    Domestic violence chooses no one. Anyone from any race, culture, age and gender can be a victim. Abusers, on the other hand, are usually people with low self-esteem who resort to harmful actions in order to control their partners. Abusers may blame factors such as alcohol and drugs, and may even appear to be needing treatment with medications and medical instruments; however, domestic violence is an intentional feat and the mentioned factors are only mere excuses for them to not be held accountable for their actions.

    Many people believe that when domestic violence happens, the solution is easy: leave. However, there are several reasons why some victims of domestic violence do not do this. Leaving may just be the most crucial and the most dangerous time in a relationship experiencing abuse, and there seems countless of reasons for not doing this. Usually, however, victims do not to leave their abusers because they depend on their abusers for support in one way or another. Victims in some families also choose not to leave to keep the family complete.

    If you are a victim and you would want to leave but are having a difficulty to, then do not hesitate to tell other people. Or, you yourself may take action: get some help and call the police. No incident should result to anyone getting treated with medications and medical instruments because of abuse. Domestic violence may already seem like a normal and acceptable occurrence in several homes, but it is important to remember that it is must not be and that it must not happen at all to anybody.








    As a physician, Sarah Kerr prefers using colorful medical instruments which in a way emanate an optimistic clinical vibe.