1. Growth -
You can do better, a little better, a lot better, weigh better and expand possibilities for yourself. As child Oprah Winfrey came from very poor beginnings, her parents were separated, Furthermore she was raped by her 19 year old cousin at the age of 9, raped by a family friend, her mother's boyfriend at the time and her favorite uncle, so she thought. Today Oprah is a Role model to millions of women all over, she hosts her own Television show and is a self made Billionaire with a capital B, keywords Self-made.
2. If it's not getting better, It's getting worse -
If you're not growing and expanding you're dying. If you're not saving you're spending. If you're not in the store, you're out of the store, there's no neutral way about it. you can't have one foot in the door and another outside of the store. If you're not driving, you're walking, you can't do both at the same time. If it is not getting better, It is getting worse.
3. You may have a career or criminal abuser at home -
It may be the case that you never went out of your way to do a background check on your partner where he/she might be holding a lengthy criminal record, maybe that of a domestic violence record or even a mental illness or drug, medication dependancy. A legal or illegal drug user. Unfortunately, energies and habits are contagious, if you do not want to become like your partner/abuser or do not want to do things they do, for example drugs,,, plan your route of escape before he or she has other plans for you. Abuse holds many pandora's boxes, it is why Domestic violence is a hard code to break. If your partner hits you once, he or she will hit you again, it is why you should accept the first attack and make it the last.
4. Resources, Resources, Resources -
A vast amount of Sources and Resources are available to you both off and online leaving virtually no excuse for you not to take advantage. Centers, Shelters, Groups, Hotlines, Special programs, Websites other than this one. This is more so now than ever before due to the complexity and increased growth of Domestic Violence/ Family Violence. These are not all paid resources and programs many are non-profit and most staff within these services at one point were victims themselves, understand this, you are not alone, your belief that you are alone is nothing more than an illusion. If you are in a dangerously violent relationship it will be a matter of taking your first step mentally, with inner courage and bravery you can quietly access these resources and take it little by little, step by step. You may not have felt so before but more and more victims are getting fed up, are speaking out and becoming survivors recruiting more survivors every day. One woman with the help of her boss, was able to put her abuser/ the man she loved and married away for 36 years after she broke from his spell.
5. You're feeding a monster -
Remember cookie monster from "Sesame Street" no matter how many cookies you fed him, he couldn't get enough. Statistics show that Abusers are not happy with the fact that you are doing what they want, as they want, how they want and when they want it, it isn't just a control trip, it is an addictive high they fean for and a senseless act they do just because they can, and can get away with it freely, just like cookie monster instead this time its not a cookie the monster craves.
6. Now or never -
Best do something about it now if not, in the very near future otherwise you may never ever get to squeeze out of the whole. You may become more vulnerable, fearful, more isolated, programmed, brainwashed, less courageous and perhaps adapt, you may become immune to the relationship and uniform the role of the victim as time passes. The longer you wait, the harder the task, as you will be giving growth to a much bigger abuser as his/her abuse expands.
7. Consideration of others -
Domestic Violence does not only effect you as a whole, it effects you're family including kids, brothers, parents, it affects you're friends, your job. If you have a job, It may drastically hinder your work performance or even cost you your job. If you are content with your relationship it does'nt mean your friends and family are whether they're aware of the abuse or not. For Example..... Be careful that your partner is not secretly abusing your children on the side, this is something you may not be aware of. Remember Domestic Violence is a Silent Crime where victims are in fear of talking.
8. Your denial is another victim's denial -
Your denying that you are truly in an abusive relationship only adds to the problem of abuse and domestic violence. For each domestic violence case there's another 10, and for each victim that remains in abuse another 100 victims stem from that. One victim may relate to a friend who is also a victim and agree to say that their is nothing they can do but play along, hence the belief system expands thru what I call the victim network. As opposed to the fed up victim whom has had enough struggles with fears, takes that leap of faith and entrusts a reliable resource, finally, becoming a survivor. Like knows like and brings like, Survivors do the same, they inspire and empower victims to learn the truth. You run you, No one else runs you.
9. Add a piece to the big puzzle -
Each Domestic Abuse case is unique, particular in its own form, similar to many but unlike any other. By breaking free of the chains of abuse comes Information, clues and ideas to solving the all time problem of family/intimate partner violence, it brings society one step closer to the solution. So much can be drawn from one mended case as to solve a number of other cases, more of this can reduce domestic violence and bring it to a higher awareness.
10. Self Esteem -
Do it for yourself, because you are better than a beat down. How can you value yourself and care about anything if you let someone else degrade you.Love is the only truth everything else is an Illusion, and don't go for the old "I wouldn't do this if I didn't love you line" Domestic violence is not love. Learn to esteem and love yourself FIRST, before going on in a relationship.
Beth Ross is a moderator at http://www.domestic-violence-online-center.com/ voluntarily helps with the forum and contributes content for the site. Having gone thru domestic abuse in her past Beth now passes on what she knows on her free time.
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