Shining The Spotlight on Domestic Violence

In light of comments made by Fox's Mr. Bill O'Reilly of the popular show the O' Reilly factor, concerning the recent victims of domestic violence there has been a backlash by national advocates in the domestic violence community. The simple truth is we have all asked the same questions or made similar comments either to ourselves or in guarded conversation with family and friends. "Why do victims of domestic violence stay in the relationship?", "Don't they see the signs that this person is dangerous?" and/or "Don't they see what this is doing to their children?" Mr. O'Reilly has echoed what many family, friends and bystanders wonder all the time.

We can toss out all of the statistics of cases of abuse both physically and mentally, but that does not help families and friends understand why. Unless you have been through a similar situation you don't comprehend the vicious cycle domestic victims and abusers. What some may deem as a common sense situation to get out of, to victims it is an hour by hour fight for survival.

Domestic violence is a symptom of silence. While Mr. O' Reilly's statements may be inflammatory, this is not the time to play the blame game. Mr. O'Reilly's statement has afforded advocates of victim's of domestic violence to educate the public so that they will be aware of the seriousness of domestic violence.

If you are a victim of domestic violence:

° Know that you have the divine right to live without fear or harm and there is a

way out.

° Seek help immediately from your local police department or women's shelter.

° Find a safe place to go if an argument or physical fight occurs.

° Establish a code word or sign to let coworkers, family and friends know when

you are in trouble.

° Keep money and important documents such as driver's license and social

security cards with you at all times.

° Create a safety plan of what you can do when you decide to leave.

° When you leave change all locks and phone numbers.

° Keep a record of all contacts, police reports and injuries.

If you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence or who is a perpetrator of violence:

° Report the crime of domestic violence every time an incident occurs. Silence

is not an option.

° Listen. When a victim wants to talk about the situation don't be judgmental.

Let them no that abuse is never okay and urge them to get help immediately.

For more information contact the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence 1-800-799-SAFE and The Inspire Project [http://www.inspiringlives.org] 903-503-0272

Shametra L. Thomas is Founder and CEO of The Inspire Project [http://www.inspiringlives.org] and Reinventing Coaching and Consulting both Texas based and is an advocate of human rights. For more information contact the author by email at streinventing@aol.com